Bye, Boyfriend! is a monthly column where Xiao Qing abandons her healthy relationship with her human boyfriend to find love in a dating sim. This month, she relieves the early days of their love by romancing four 2D men on Discord.
It’s a huge misconception that Bumble, Hinge and Tinder are the only dating apps on the market, and that it’s the only way to meet your future partner. I used to be one of the unenlightened, wasting my time swiping when I could’ve been looking for my partner somewhere else entirely.
Like Discord.
No joke: I met my boyfriend on Discord. The year was 2020, and Covid forced the entire world to become shut-ins, scrambling for human interaction in the digital space. My boyfriend and I met on one of those “Looking for new friends!” servers that were all the rage at the time. It took us almost a year before we actually spoke to each other since we were both deeply introverted, but fast-forward six years later and we’ve made long distance work.
So girls, your man isn’t waiting on Hinge — he’s on Discord. (Please exercise caution when talking to strangers online.)
As you can probably tell, love gets stale after a while. My boyfriend would rather spend his time at some secluded cabin with the boys, and I’d rather find a brand new boyfriend through otome games — even if it means dating a cockroach.
So to inject some romance back into my life, I turned to a game that lets you meet and date boys on Discord.
Joining the server
I was introduced to robobarbie’s Blooming Panic by my close friend (and otome lover), Renee. She was obsessed with it in 2021, and I briefly played through a couple of routes that year. But since I was in the middle of courting my very own Discord mod (my boyfriend), I didn’t have the chance to fully immerse myself in this particular romance.
But now that he has completely abandoned me (he literally was away for only a weekend), it’s time to move on to greener pastures.
In Blooming Panic, you play as a tired office worker whose main outlet of stress relief is through a fantasy webnovel of the same name. After reading the most recent chapter, you find a mysterious link to a fan server for the webnovel, where you meet your four love interests: the adorable and playful nightowl, the reliable moderator Quest, the sarcastic and aloof NakedToaster, and the server troll, xyx.
Each boy comes with their own personal baggage that you’ll slowly uncover as the story unfolds, but that’s what my alter ego Kairi is there for: to be the ever-encouraging ray of sunshine that will heal these boys. Fair warning, Blooming Panic’s routes dip into parental abuse, stalking, and some genuinely heavy emotional territory. If you’re like me and love your romance with a side of emotional damage, go ahead and download it — it’s free!
Are you blushing yet?
Blooming Panic immerses you into its world by having its game play like a Discord server. The server comes with multiple channels, some dedicated to fanart of the webnovel, discussion channels, and even a voice channel where you’ll get to talk to your love interest (LI). The game has you following the story by hopping from one channel to another depending on the topic, and you’ll typically end the night with a video call with your chosen LI.
Having played many dating sims in my lifetime, it’s difficult to find a game that does all of its LIs justice. While I have a favourite in Blooming Panic (NakedToaster, in case you’re wondering), every LI is endearing in their own route with unique, complex personalities that make them feel so real.
NakedToaster is sarcastic and witty, but easily gets flustered when you remotely try to flirt with him. While he can come across as aloof, he’s empathetic towards people and tries to understand why people act the way they do during their worst moments. He’s very much aware of people’s emotions and does his best to diffuse difficult situations. God, why aren’t more men built this way?
But I don’t play dating games for realism. I play them for the drama.
It’s honestly crazy how easily I suspend my disbelief when playing dating sims — such tactics would never work on me in real life, I swear. I absolutely hate it when men start acting affectionate towards me, but when Quest calls me “angel” in front of everyone in the server, or when NakedToaster says he loves me just six days after meeting me, I swoon every single time.
My real-life boyfriend rolls his eyes when he hears me gush about these 2D men, but God forbid a girl just wants to experience falling in love again.
Into an online relationship
Blooming Panic might just be one of the best dating sims I’ve ever played. The story is thoughtfully crafted, each love interest has unique quirks and personalities that make them feel real, and the romance delivers a delicious slow burn.
Beyond the characters, robobarbie does an impressive job of immersing you in the world of Blooming Panic. The server’s members read like the kind of online strangers you’d actually meet on Discord: the slang feels natural, the occasional memes keep the channels lively without dating the experience, and the voice acting across the cast is phenomenal. xyx’s voice actor, Mike Young, is especially outstanding — he nails the xyx’s cheeky and outgoing personality while also balancing his softer, more vulnerable sides. Plus, he’s exceptionally good at tongue twisters. Seriously.
I love my boyfriend to death, but if I ever need a substitute Discord boyfriend to temporarily take his place, at least I know Blooming Panic will be there waiting for me the next time he heads off on one of those cabin trips with the boys.
Blooming Panic is free to play here.
