Bye, Boyfriend! is a monthly column where Xiao Qing abandons her healthy relationship with her human boyfriend to find love in a dating sim. This month, she attempts to seduce her customers with emotionally-charged donuts.
Dear reader, you have to promise not to laugh at what I’m about to tell you, okay?
In my 26 years of living, my romantic feelings have only been reciprocated once. And yes, the person who accepted them is my current boyfriend, whom I’m now cheating on with a bunch of 2D characters.
But enough of that. The truth is, I’ve been exiled to the friendzone around seven to eight times in my life, and I’ve only ever rejected someone else’s feelings once.
For the past five years, I haven’t had to deal with any romantic rejection, thanks to my boyfriend. And the thing with dating sims is that you’re usually in control. Even when I get a friendship ending, it’s because I choose to do so, and that’s what I wanted.
So imagine my despair after sinking 172 in-game days into romancing a character only to be stuck in the friendzone.
I won’t lie, dear reader: ever since I got that friendship ending, I haven’t reopened the game. It’s too painful. This is the kind of heartbreak that I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life.
Riding Out That High
This month, I played High Times, a donut dating sim. And no, you don’t get to date the donuts (I know, I’m just as disappointed as you are!), but instead your love interests are the customers that pass through your shop. The best part? You’ve already had some sort of romantic history with most of them, only to have those connections severed somewhere along the way. Now, they’re back in your life, bringing plenty of unresolved feelings, hurt and angst with them.
Dating sim MCs tend to be a blank slate — their personalities are usually dependent on your choices — but High Times’ MC is witty, flirty and very much their own person. My alter ego Kairi comes with a lot of emotional baggage of her own. From what we know, Kairi has ghosted all of her exes (save for her best friend Connor and her one-night stand, Stacey) and completely cut off contact with her parents. She also has her fair share of insecurities, including a fear of being left behind and the worry that she’ll never be able to emotionally connect with anyone again after a string of disastrous breakups. It’s a level of characterisation I have to commend YangYang Mobile for.
For the first time, it felt like my choices genuinely mattered. They shaped Kairi’s ability to open up to others and affected her relationships to the point where one wrong decision could potentially cause irreparable damage. It doesn’t help that she’s naturally inclined to run away whenever things start going awry, which inevitably complicates her relationships even further.
Five Hearts Under One Roof could never.
Donut For Your Thoughts?
Alongside the dating sim mechanics, High Times is also a cooking sim. Kairi runs a shop called the Hotbox in the city of San Mazo, which serves up donuts laced with mood-enhancers. Each glaze evokes a particular emotion: strawberry for nostalgia, chocolate for focus, pumpkin for patience, and so on.
Every day, three customers visit with a donut request. Some are straightforward, while others are considerably more cryptic. It’s up to you to figure out what they’re looking for, craft their perfect donut and help them work through whatever emotions they’re experiencing.
There are only six romanceable characters in High Times, but that doesn’t mean the remaining side characters are any less memorable. There’s a film noir detective investigating a donut killer, a literal catboy, and an “alpha” fratboy with a surprising passion for tea and cooking.
But my favourite side character has to be Riri, a tourist visiting San Mazo who is constantly dressed as a chicken. When she first walked into my shop and I saw her introduction card, my immediate thought was: “I want to date her.”
Unfortunately, she’s unromanceable. But if there’s ever a patch that changes this, I’ll be on my knees begging for a Riri route. Or a donut dating route. Either works.
Another highlight is that every line in High Times is fully voiced, which does wonders for bringing its characters to life. I wasn’t particularly fond of Kyle, the fratboy, when I first met him, but hearing those little moments of vulnerability in his voice made him considerably more likeable over time. There’s something about hearing a character deliver their lines that makes them feel much more endearing than simply reading their dialogue.
The side characters have stories of their own, too, and Kairi gets to help them navigate their complicated feelings with a seemingly never-ending supply of donuts and, of course, a listening ear.
But you’re not here to learn about the side characters. You’re here to laugh at me getting friendzoned by a 2D character.
When Harry Met Kairi
I’ll be honest: I was initially attracted to Harry Yen not for his personality, but because he’s voiced by Johnny Yong Bosch (Persona 4’s Narukami and Adachi, Devil May Cry 4’s Nero). Harry isn’t exactly the warmest ex you meet in the game — he’s bitter towards you (understandably so after you find out what you did to him) and obnoxious to boot. He barely has any emotional intelligence in the beginning, and all he does is annoy the heck out of Kairi during your first few encounters.
And maybe there’s something inherently wrong with me, but there’s a certain cheekiness to his obnoxious attitude that makes him ridiculously hot. Darn you, Johnny Yong Bosch, and your sultry voice!
Kairi and Harry were college sweethearts who grew close after joining the Food Techies, a club dedicated to the science behind cooking. The two worked together on recipes involving mood enhancers, and Harry’s signature creation, “Blueberry Cheer”, eventually found its way onto the Hotbox menu. It’s a small but meaningful indication that, even after Kairi disappeared from his life, he never quite managed to leave hers.
Their relationship is a constant push-and-pull, with both parties refusing to properly confront the struggles they experienced during their time together. It’s a tantalising “Will they, won’t they?” reunion that had me screaming at my monitor to JUST KISS ALREADY!
Up until this point, I genuinely thought I was doing everything right. High Times seemed like the kind of game that would punish you for trying to romance everyone in a single playthrough, and I wanted to remain loyal during my first run. This meant friendzoning Connor and Stacey when I was given the opportunity to pursue something romantic with them. I did, however, panic and claim I was in love with my childhood ex, Lucy, when that particular option came up.
But for the most part, I was picking every remotely romantic interaction with Harry. I was practically shouting my feelings from the rooftops, telling anyone who would listen that I was in love with him.
And at the peak of our relationship… We were relegated to just friends.
He didn’t outright reject me, mind you, but when I unlocked the “Harry Friendship Ending” achievement, I felt my heart sink.
172 in-game days. All that effort. Just to be friends.
I thought we were… I thought you felt the same about me, Harry.
What were those looks for, then? Was it all a lie when you said you still cared about me? When you hinted that there might still be something between us beyond friendly affection? Did you lead me on just because you couldn’t get over the fact that I’d ghosted you?
My poor Kairi has no choice but to suck it up and carry on with the rest of the game with a smile on her face (although, in-game, she seems completely unaffected by this ending). Meanwhile, Harry gets to live his best life and transfer to San Mazo University.
He said he wanted to be close to us! Am I just supposed to take it as a friendly chat?!
Donut Talk to Me Right Now
It’s been awhile since I’ve been friendzoned, and I haven’t opened High Times since. It’s just too painful.
Not even the soothing comfort from my real life boyfriend has been enough to pull me out of this emotional spiral.
What’s the point of being in a relationship if a 2D character doesn’t love me?
Stuck in the Friendzone Again and Again
In retrospect, I think it’s pretty cool that High Times makes you work for your relationships. It’s a slow burn through and through (unlike another dating sim that we know). Having to serve the same donuts over and over before getting any meaningful story progression can feel repetitive, but that repetition is also what makes the relationships feel more grounded and believable.
It’s easy to get swept up in the whirlwind romances offered by other dating sims, but High Times is a reminder of why relationships need to be nurtured. It explores how running away from difficult conversations can cause emotional damage, not just to yourself but to the people around you, too.
It’s been a while since a dating sim has left me with my heart in a vice. Perhaps High Times isn’t the game I’d turn to when I’m looking for the idealistic escapism that usually comes with the genre, but it’s a compelling story nonetheless.
I’ll return to High Times eventually. There are still five other exes waiting to be romanced, after all. And maybe, just maybe, when the developers finally release a donut dating sim in its truest form (I want to date the passionate ube donut, is that too much to ask for?!), I’ll be able to fill the donut-shaped hole in my heart.
